One of the oldest tropes in literature is good old friends-to-lovers, exactly as the name implies: two people who have been friends for a while start to develop romantic feelings for each other which turns into a relationship at some point in the story (usually at the end). I will admit that I prefer this trope over enemies-to-lovers (see the first post under the TROPES section). While my opinion of this trope is mostly positive, I do kind of have a bone to pick with it. Actually scratch that: I have a bone to pick with some of the authors who use this trope.
What I love about it
Friends-to-lovers is awesome, possibly one of the sweetest, most heartwarming tropes of them all. It’s one of those tropes that provide a really-really- great slow-burn and my god, when it’s written right it’s just *chefs kiss*. Another reason this trope has found its way into so many readers' hearts is because it’s flat out relatable since most people have had crushes on their friends before if not their best friend(s). Friends-to-lovers comes with the tense anxiety enemies-to-lovers has, in fact there might be more since it’s pretty simple to block an enemy from antagonizing our lives any further, but a friend? Almost impossible. Especially if that friend is seen almost every day. Reader's love adorable pairings, so a well-written duo with a complex dynamic will automatically become something that people will root for. Lastly, in my own experience, writing friends-to-lovers has been easier to write than enemies-to-lovers. Mainly because the two characters already have that established foundation of mutual respect and admiration which makes most of the work about going from being just friends to being practically inseparable partners.
What I hate about it
So let me start off with mentioning a character everyone and their uncle knows about: “the nice guy”. He’s the male character who treats the main character (who is usually a woman) with basic human decency and believes that he’s entitled to be with her. Writers, please, if you’re writing a friends-to-lovers relationship with a man in the mix, avoid making him “the nice guy” because in the end, he’s not actually nice. He’s just desperate.
But when I think of the trope as a whole, I suppose I do have a few things that I’m not a big fan of either. I will say that friends-to-lovers can appear pretty shallow compared to enemies-to-lovers, but I think that’s just the writers not knowing how to add depth to things or write impactful character development. Another big thing when it comes to writing romance is that readers love characters who have differences. But since friends are usually like-minded, friends-to-lovers can appear boring and not really leave much room for learning more compelling things about each other. And of course this trope has angst, but most of the time, it’s not as ground-breaking compared to enemies-to-lovers.
How To Write it.
The friendship should be a main part of the story. The friendship between the main character and the love interest is all part of the slow-burn. It shouldn’t be all sunshine and rainbows, though. Make it realistic. Make it have tension and conflict and all sorts of emotions because it’s what's going to make the reader want the pairing to get together even more.
Add in awkwardness. Let’s be honest here-how are two people going to go from being friends to being lovers with a smooth transition included. In what world? Are your characters gods? Can they just not feel embarrassment? If only that were me. Awkwardness is normal and it’s completely human to experience it. But, the awkwardness you add in doesn’t have to be completely embarrassing (I mean it can, but it doesn’t have to be). It can be cute or even funny.
Hint at the romance by adding tiny details here and there. Please, for the love of God, don’t go from 0 to 100 in the span of a few pages. I will literally throw the book across the room. Add small things such as words of affirmation or (subtle) physical touch. Go from 0 to 1 and gradually continue to add these things, making them more and more visible as the story progresses. In the very end, all of these scenes and moments and actions are all going to tally up.
Make them ship-able. This is common sense but these characters should be kind to each other-they are friends after all. But don’t just tell the reader that these two are friends, don’t just tell the reader that they’re slowly falling for each other-show it. Show it through actions, show it through dialogue. They’ve gotta find a reason to fall for one another.
Like all tropes, friends-to-lovers can be pretty great if it’s executed properly. The already established friendship makes it pretty easy to start building up towards a romantic relationship and I love how relatable it is. Though it has some faults, they can easily be avoided with practice and testing your hand at writing it. I know I sure have.
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