From what I’ve heard and read in the media, the trope enemies to lovers has become pretty popular within the last year (especially amongst the readers and writers of YA fiction). I’m positive most of us know what this trope is about, but for those who don’t know: enemies to lovers is when two people start off the story hating each other and gradually fall in love as the time and plot progress. Personally, I like this trope, but only when it’s executed correctly.
What I Love About It
So, before we do a deep dive into this trope, let me talk a bit about what I love about enemies-to-lovers. First, I absolutely adore the idea of two people who despise each other spending more time together and slowly-very slowly- developing romantic feelings for one another. The tension is high and the readers are left wanting more of them. What’s not to love? Another thing I really enjoy about this trope is the character development. Good character arcs are powerful in themselves, but a character arc within a well-written enemies to lovers story is ground-breaking. It’s a trope that really does show all sides to complex characters whether they are good, bad, or indifferent.
What I Hate About It.
It’s not so much about qualities of the trope itself, it’s how certain authors execute it. From what I’ve read, most of the books with the enemies-to-lovers trope tend to cross the line from being just enemies to acting downright abusive toward one or both of the parties involved. The generic process usually goes like this: the “Strong Female Character ™” meets a tall, dark, and handsome man who goes out of his way to be edgy. The two main characters start off the story by hating each other (this can be for different reasons such as misunderstanding, bad vibes, or something even worse as it usually is). As time goes on, they start to treat each other horribly by manipulation, physical and verbal violence, and even sexual assault. I don’t care what anyone says, THIS IS NOT ROMANTIC. THIS IS LITERAL ABUSE. There is a MAJOR difference between not liking someone because you think they’re annoying, and going out of your way to bully them for things they cannot control. For those of you in the Harry Potter fandom, I’m sure you have all come across those imbeciles people who ship Draco and Hermione. Why is this not okay? Uh, because Draco literally called Hermione a slur, that’s why. And not to mention, he did so much more. Sure, Draco could redeem himself and all that, but why would anyone forgive a person who called them a slur and bullied them all through school? I sure wouldn’t. No lie, the people who ship this want an enemy to lovers pairing (like many do), but they’re just looking in the wrong place. Don’t ship abusers with victims. It’s not cute.
How To Write Enemies-To-Lovers
So, for my main writing project right now, (The Indestructible: Book 1 of The Amory Series) there is not an enemies to lovers arc. Instead, I’m doing friends-to-lovers (I love this trope so much and I will definitely be posting about it soon). However, I have read enough books with enemies-to-lovers and have done a ton of research on the trope itself and how to write it. Below, I will list the things that are necessary to write a-completely healthy-enemies to lovers arc.
1. Make the characters decent people (or at least make them want to become decent people) When writing enemies-to-lovers, one of the best ways to stay from abuse is to have your characters be good people, people who want to improve, or even morally gray. In this situation, you have two characters-who aren’t completely ruined by the world-meet each other, but upon meeting, something happens and they get a totally inaccurate misunderstanding of each other. Maybe it’s because one of them was in a bad mood that day, maybe it’s the vibe another gives off. Either or, it makes one or both of the characters see each other in a negative light.
2. Their disdain for one another should be over smaller things. As explained in my last point, these two characters should dislike one another over something small such as a simple misunderstanding, vibes, etc. It should not be over something big like one person being a bigot and the other being a minority (*cough cough* Reid and Lou from Serpent and Dove).
3. Think about how this unfortunate misunderstanding can be fixed. When you get to this point in your character’s relationship, the whole “show, don’t tell” saying becomes CRITICAL to turning hate into love. If one character just tells the other something like “You don’t know me at all. I’m better than who you think I am.”, it’s worth as much as diet water because if the other character thinks this person is terrible, they’re not gonna believe them at all, trust me (unless they’re just an idiot). Instead of the character telling the other that they actually do have human decency, let them show that they have human decency. Sure, a conversation works, but it can only go so far. Personally, I would start off with a brief conversation (or conversations) where the characters are forced together and begin to bond over smaller things and soon become somewhat friends. Then, I would start with the showing and take it from there. And showing can be anything. Maybe it’s being encouraging, maybe it’s leaving a small trinket that reminds one of the other. Who knows, it’s your story.
4. Stay away from abuse and other toxic behavior. Manipulation is not cute and not asking for consent is not sexy. As the characters begin to bond and develop, make sure they remain respectful towards each other and avoid stepping over boundaries. Think about how you would want to be treated in your everyday life. Would you really want to be manipulated and abused by this really hot person? No? Good. Yes? Get therapy. That’s a you problem.
Overall, enemies to lovers is a great trope when written correctly. Be sure to stay away from abusive behaviors and focus more on healthy character development and bonding. In the end, the beautiful and complex relationship you’ve written will be 100% worth it and your readers will fawn over your lovely pairing.
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